CHARITY & VULGARITY

Panorama

I’m watching Panorama and the Principal for the Girls COmmunity or something along those lines has just popped on. “There are two girls posing (Late teens/ early 20’s) and they are presenting themselves to sell shoes, I just don’t understand this” Well you obviously haven’t had your quiche licked.

Ah I apologise.

Some kids are growing up too fast, but some adults grew up too soon and had fuck all childhood.

Hold on, they are asking a professor at a university now. What is her qualification? Bsc Hons on Sexy bairns? HOWAY!

How come?

Some mornings I wake up and no matter how much I brush My teeth or rinse My mouth out I STILL wake up with hacky breath. It’s as if I’m the new dog in the kennel and all the other dogs teabag Me while I sleep. Dirty little arse sniffers

Placid governments and soft shites

When you’re about to go to war or someone has attacked you, why do governments use pure soft shite language like ‘They have showed a flagrant disregard..’ If you’re going to war then kick right off. ‘The bastards bombed us and now we are going to take fucking liberties’. That would scare the shite out of your enemy. But if you carry on like a private school mother who has banned her kids from watching Channel 4, well you might as well bend over and take a bullet up the sphincter.

Student riots

These riots that have been kicking off. Pile of shite. This country hasn’t had a good waxa riot in years. We seem to have slipped away from the rest of Europe when it comes to going radge. France have a riot - loads of damage. Greece have a riot - sheer fuckin ructions. London has a riot - some hard cunt slaps a window and some stuck up toff bird thinks ‘Fuck this, I’m not shaving My rat and I’m going to frown like I’ve got sun-stroke in My retro wank cardy’.

What it should have been is sheer utter bother. Saying that like half the doylems who go to uni now and walk around in the same stinking shit Abercrombie gear for two months holding shite plastic coated bags don’t know what they are doing anyway. Fuck off eh. This is Newcastle man.

Auto Spunk starring Helen Mirren

Plot coming soon.